(Bonappetit) - Scrolling Instagram one morning this fall, between posts of my friends leaf peeping and last night’s dinner plates, I saw the October 2019 Wine & Spirits cover, which the magazine has since removed. Big, in a pretty serif font, it boasted “Best New Somms” with a portrait of sommelier Anthony Cailan of the New York City restaurant The Usual with hundreds of congratulatory comments. I burst into tears.

I’d heard rumors about Cailan’s sexual misconduct when he left Los Angeles to work with his brother, chef and restaurateur Alvin Cailan, in New York in 2018. Everything I had heard was secondhand, not enough to speak publicly about, but enough to make me want to know more.