(HuffPost) - Now, I could shoehorn the steps of wine enjoyment into a drab acronym, but that would be like every other wine article out there, and likely put you to sleep.

So instead, let me tell you a story. This story is about you at a dinner party sometime in the future.

Consider me your own personal Ghost of Wine Future.

You've been dragged to a dinner party you really do not want to attend. Would you rather take an ice bath on a frigid winter morning than attend this party? Yes. Would you rather lose your significant other who wants you to be there? Sadly... no.

You walk in the door. Avoiding the inquisitive gazes of the guests, you embark on a search for the one thing that will get you through the night  --  wine. Luckily, the host Rick brings you a glass of something red. Rick, totally unprompted, starts talking about his job as an investment banker.

"You know, on a per hour basis I actually don't make that much money," Rick exclaims. Now, in the past this is the moment you would have smiled and nodded as you took a triple sip, hoping to numb the pain. But not this time. This time, you hold the glass in front of you and observe the wine's color while Rick's words fly right over your head.

Step 1: See

In a legendary study conducted at the University of Bordeaux, 54 wine science students were asked to describe a red wine. Little did they know that they were actually drinking white wine that had been disguised with food coloring. What do you think happened? They all described the dyed white wine as a red! Clearly, our perceptions of color massively influence our interpretation of taste.

Assessing color will not only impact your sensual experience as it did for the Bordeaux students, but over time, you'll come to appreciate the wealth of information cloaked in a wine's color that 99 percent of wine drinkers take for granted.

For the first step, turn your attention to the glass, and observe the wine's color.

Is the wine crimson red, or more of a dark purple? Is it easy to see through the glass, or is the wine opaque? You'll start to notice you can identify certain grape varietals by color alone. For example, Syrah tends to be an inky dark purple that's near impossible to see through, whereas Pinot Noir is a bright garnet that's entirely transparent. A wine's color can also speak to its age. Whites become darker with age, and reds become lighter.

Casually swoosh the wine around in the glass a few times and observe the "tears" AKA "legs" AKA "drops" running down the side of the glass. Are they falling slowly, or do they trickle down the side of the glass rapidly like water? The thickness of these tears, or "viscosity", can communicate key details about the wine. When slow running and thick, that indicates the wine is potentially high in alcohol or contains residual sugar.

Appreciating the visual splendor and texture of your wine is like knowing the background of a musical piece -- it may sound more or less the same at first, but if you listen carefully you'll be able to appreciate the subtle nuances that make each piece unique from one another.